Reminiscing over shared past sexual experiences decreases sexual dissatisfaction and increases relational and personal well-being.
Desire discrepancy — a mismatch of sexual interest between partners — leads to conflict and dissatisfaction.Couples may use sexual nostalgia to reconnect sexually and decrease current sexual disappointments.In longterm intimate relationships, decreased sexual satisfaction is a prevalent challenge. Sex therapists and couples therapists report that desire discrepancy, where one partner desires sex more than the other one, is one of the most common problems that brings couples to seek treatment.
Novelty in sexual and relational behaviors. By prioritizing nostalgia about past adventurous and novelty-seeking sexual behaviors, individuals may again be helping themselves cope with a current relationship that has fewer forms of sexual novelty and excitement. Since encountering this research, I’ve been encouraging couples dealing with desire discrepancy to implement sexual nostalgia in their lives. A few things I’ve suggested:
Personally, I encourage folks, including myself, to journal about past sexual experiences. Create a diary to read over and smile to yourself, in those times when you are feeling in a sexual rut.from optimal sexual experiences, I encourage couples to take lessons from those sexual stories they share with each other, and introduce some of those elements and experiences into their current sex lives.1. McCarthy B, Oppliger TR. Treatment of Desire Discrepancy: One Clinician's Approach.
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