'Parenting is a low rumble of insecurity—you’re never quite sure how you’re doing and probably never will, at least until your kids grow up and write memoirs.' Columnist JasonGay reflects on Father's Day.
Father’s Day is nearly here, and these two children who live in my home keep asking me what I would like to do for the holiday, because, apparently, I am their father. That’s what they’re saying, at least. They have offered to serve me breakfast in bed, “a day of relaxation,” as if two small children are constitutionally capable of offering that, and they’ve even asked me if I’d like a “special gift.
Parenting, of course, is a low rumble of insecurity—you’re never quite sure how you’re doing and probably never will, at least until your kids grow up and write memoirs. I am trying, I care, I love them, I’m teaching them the important stuff—respect others, be truthful with your word, always split aces and 8s, never eat mini meatballs with your hands—but I’m only human. I occasionally eat mini meatballs with my hands. I’m not exactly a role model here.
What’s become clear to this father, over time, is that even when you try to cut your own path as a parent and trailblaze a new way, eventually, whether you like it or not, nature and nurture take over, and you simply turn into your own father. It’s an unavoidable metamorphosis. I loved my late father, but I wanted to parent a bit differently than he did, and yet more and more, I find myself mimicking things he used to do.
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