A Reddit thread reveals a collection of unbelievable and often humorous secrets shared by users, ranging from acts of petty theft to emotionally complex situations involving family and personal experiences.
Humans do weird stuff all the time, but sometimes, that weird stuff gets kicked up a notch, to the point where they wouldn't want to share it with a soul. So, when a Reddit or asked:the answers did not disappoint.
As shy as some people can be with a secret, they seem just as comfortable sharing it on the internet. In fact, these range from"aww" to"what the hell did I just read?" Here are the best ones:"My dad wears a $3000 dollar leather jacket I stole from Bloomingdale’s and later gifted to him. I’ll tell you how I stole it, because at the time it felt clever, and I think more people should steal like me. You know those big bins near checkout in large stores, usually filled with receipts and paper? I hid the jacket there, buried so deep no one would notice. Later that night, I went to the trash area, found the bag with the receipts, and the unmistakable leathery weight inside, and pulled the jacket out. I figured that to prove anything, they’d need footage from both the store and the trash area. And by the way, tattletales—it wasn’t Bloomingdale’s. I changed the name of the store." "When my grandma was sick and close to passing away, my dad wasn’t able to sleep much those nights. One night I decided to sneak out and hot box my neighbor's tree house with my neighbor friend and another girl. When I was sneaking out, I accidentally turned on the flash to my phone. That same night my grandma passed away. When the morning came and my dad got the call that his mom had passed he told us that during the night he saw a light flash and he thought it was his mom saying goodbye to him. This kills me, because if he knew I was out smoking getting high, he would probably kill me. A part of me thinks, “well fuck it, he thinks his mom said goodbye just let it be”. I think about it every now and then and it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. RIP abuelita." "When I used fertility help to conceive my first child, I conceived four embryos in my body . I aborted two for the health of the surviving two. I even told the doctor to keep the one female embryo, dooming two of the three boy embryos. I miss my two babies even today but they would have been premature with health problems. This was a long time ago and they weren’t as good with quadruplets as they are today." "When I was a teenager, my parents gave my sister and I skiing lessons. We were in groups of five per teacher. We'd wake up early, be driven to the local supermarket parking lot so that we'd ride a bus full of other kids. At the end of the year the whole ''school'' had a competition. We used a slope that had gates installed. The gates were red and blue. I don't remember what the colors meant, but one meant you had to pass by on the gate's left side, the other on the right. I'm not that great, I'm at the end of the my second year of lessons. So I do my best, start the race, go around the gates as fast as I can. Halfway through the slope, I go too fast or something, and realize that I won't be able to make a specific gate.""I have to skip it. Alright, I skip it. I arrive down, ask for my time, yay, finished the race. Later on, when all the times were compiled, they gave me a gold medal because I had the best time. I won the competition. I didn't fuckin' win, I cheated and no one saw it." — "So my husband knows this, but I secretly called the emergency vet when my sister's dog was ill and put my card down. She had to put a down payment to be seen, so the vet office just told her that down payment covered the entire visit . I know she’d be grateful but also feel guilty and like a charity case if she knew, so I’ll take that one to the grave." "I accidentally threw away my sister's wedding ring while cleaning the kitchen years ago and let everyone believe she just lost it at the beach." "My uncle was a cop. Only he didn't"die on the job". He didn't showed up for roll call. When they checked in on him at home, he had a heart attack while he was getting dressed. He was signed in during roll call , dressed in his blues and stuffed in his cruiser behind an old mill building. He 'technically' died on the job and his wife got full benefits." "I tell people I love being alone . I tell people I’m not interested and push people away before they get close. I’ve labeled myself aro/ace. Yet in all reality I have deep fear of abandonment. My father was out of the picture, never been anyone’s priority, tend to be picked on/bullied, heavily criticized as a child, was even cheated on with an AI girlfriend. At this point in my life I’d rather focus on my hobbies, career than risk getting hurt. I know in the end I’ll never be anyone’s priority. That’s why I’ve convinced myself that I love being alone." "My wife pooped when she delivered our baby, but I’m never going to let her know she did no matter how many times she asks me." "A motorcycle crash I got into while riding Palomar Mountain was not an accident; it was a designed scenario, and I’d rehearsed it. I was in a very dark place, and I wanted a way out. My parents were devastated to have nearly buried their youngest; my older brother took emergency leave from his USMC deployment and flew across the world to sit at my hospital bed. My friends were freaked out; one of my close riding buddies stopped riding entirely. I never told them the truth that I deliberately went into the corner too hot. I was a skilled rider, known for pushing the envelope, so everyone just assumed I’d finally found the limit. It’s a story I let them believe. Instead, I lived by the grace of luck. A fire captain happened to be driving her POV past the scene and provided immediate trauma care. There was just enough signal for her to call in an emergency medical helicopter. TRICARE picked up the million-dollar hospital tab, but the cost was my soul and my career.""Because I was"reckless," the Navy hit me with a"Not in Line of Duty" finding. While they couldn't prove it was a suicide attempt, they ruled it"grossly negligent". I was then medically separated without benefits: denied a disability pension because of that NILOD ruling. I lost my wings, my commission, and my pride. I filed for bankruptcy because I lost my officer’s salary and was hit with a Bonus Recoupment. The Navy demanded I pay back the unearned portion of my aviation retention bonus: six figures of debt I couldn't possibly cover while learning to walk again. I never told anyone the truth, but I live with the shame that my selfishness caused so much grief. My brother’s squad had a harder deployment because he was at my bedside. That flight crew risked their lives and a multi-million dollar airframe in the difficult mountain terrain to save a man who didn't want to be saved. I got bailed out on the backs of taxpayers who paid for my surgery and then watched me get kicked out of the service I promised to lead.All because of one weak moment. I have a life-altering injury that reminds me every day I’m still alive, but I’ve spent the years since trying to earn the life I tried to throw away." — "When I was a kid, I changed my sister’s height in the Wii Fit to something much shorter than she was. So the next time she weighed herself, the Wii Fit told her she was obese and she cried and never used it again." "Some might call it manipulative, but I intentionally put myself in work positions to get closer to folks in positions of local power. My appearance has changed a lot over time, none of them ever recognize me and I use a neutral nickname. So when I meet them on their level, I cater my conversation to appeal to what I’ve learned about them in the past. It’s benefitted me greatly having knowledge on their connections, hobbies, habits. Going from installing cabinet lights in their kitchen keeping my eyes down memorizing their art collection to chatting candidly in an art gallery. None of them have the faintest idea, just think I’m “an exceptional young woman”. Today I introduced myself to someone I’ve known for 7 years, and whose family I’ve known even longer than that. But they don’t know me. Listening is such a wonderful tool.""In certain environments I also play stupid and naive, only to shock folks when I suddenly gain a social upper hand. Wouldn’t believe how many people that have entirely moved from this town once they’ve realized and come to have to reckon with it. But I’m just a wallflower. Nothing to see here. Upward mobility. I grew up in a very unconventional family and moved out from my parents' house when I was 13. Had a family member get mad that I wasn’t popping out kids in my teens like everyone else in my family. I’m the first woman in my family to graduate high school. Not the slightest bit interested in spending my life working a crappy job barely getting by with children scuttling about while using substances to cope. If I’ve got to have questionable ethics to get it done, so be it. Aside from the stability I want to achieve, I want to have the kind of household one day where any friend or family member can come stay. Whether it’s just visiting, or something has gone on in their life that they need the support without the BS I dealt with. My door is open, my connections are yours, possibilities are limitless." — "I've stolen and sunk a boat owned by an utter bastard. The swim to the zodiac, in not exactly calm seas, in the dark, will remain with me." "When I was a young teenager I was experimenting with condoms, I put one on to test it out and gave it a go, I've later learned the term for this is a 'posh wank'. I finished my business and tossed it in the trash. Later that day, my family cat came into the living room proudly carrying the jizz-filled condom and my family was appalled, it all got blamed on my 17 year old sister and her boyfriend. No one in my family will ever find out the truth." "I was in P.E in high school and there was an autistic kid who people bullied because he was different. We had a wrestling class once and he had to take his glasses off and left them in his sweater. I had no idea and accidentally stepped on them and broke them. I said nothing because of being embarrassed or shy or ashamed that I broke them. And when he found them he was very sad because he thought someone broke them on purpose just to mess with him. I still feel bad to this day for not speaking up and apologizing." "One time at a dance party I had a, let's say, rumbly in my tumbly from too much beer and greasy pizza. I ripped one of the nastiest farts of my life and within a minute the party was over and everyone cleared out. I pretended to be as shocked and disgusted as everyone else. People talked about it for months after and I never told anyone it was me. Unfortunately for others, this only emboldened me in my fart crimes." "I threw away the hairball sitting on my coworkers desk. I thought it was nasty, and was never told anything more than"it's super important." So, when she wasn't there I threw that out with many other things that were trash. It took a few weeks, but sure enough she noticed. She went into a rage trying to figure out who would've done something so cruel. She started explaining that this hairball was from a cat that she cared for. This cat had passed away some time ago, and this was the only thing she had left. Apparently, it was going to be turned into a memento somehow. I was the only person working with her at that time, so I just sat there like"Oh my god, that's so rude! Who would do that?" And let her blame another coworker. This happened years ago, and she still occasionally brings up when my coworker threw away her hairball." "All drunk at 23, alone, tried to suck my own dick. Cracked something in my neck, bad. Couldn’t fucking move, had to drag myself, in position, to phone and call 911. No surgery, but humiliation in the ER. Had to wear a big neck brace for like a month. Told everyone at work I hurt it “at my kickboxing class”, I was skinny and obviously not a natural fighter, everyone shaking their heads, “this fucking idiot, of course you got your ass kicked!”. Little did they know, it wasn’t a fight for anything other than trying to bring my mouth into contact with my penis." "I look like a grandma, I love cats, I love to knit. Of all my sex toys, I prefer the Satisfyer Pro 2." "I thought there was a possibility one of my family members could have been involved with really bad criminal acts but had no evidence, so I made sure to do one of those ancestry tests so if DNA was ever ran, it'd make it easier to find the offender. It's funny to me that folks are like"don't do those DNA tests, it might get one of your family members in trouble" and I'm like, if they did something that they are collecting DNA for... ya'll can have them! Take 'em away!" "I once won $500 on sports betting website. Those things are usually based in costa rica. They paid me in bitcoin. I guess they fucked up when they were putting it in decimal form because they accidently sent me $6,000. The next day they were blowing me up for the money back and that they would give me free credits to bet again. I never responded and I bought my first semi truck w that money. I put it as a downpayment." "I wrote several confessional letters to Penthouse that started with"I never thought this could happen to me," but the stories I confessed were entirely made up." "About 10 years ago, I was in a dead bedroom with my wife. She refused to discuss it or go to counseling, and I ended up hooking up with a guy I worked with. It was just foreplay, nothing beyond that, but it was a release for me. He had come out years earlier, but when his family threatened to cut him off, he went back into the closet. Eventually, he started dating a woman. They got married and had kids. We still hooked up occasionally. Every so often, he would remind me that he was taking this secret to his grave and wanted me to promise the same, because he couldn’t handle anyone finding out he was gay. After a couple of years, we stopped fooling around. My wife and I eventually divorced, not because of that, but because we were simply going in different directions in life. Last year he reached out to tell me he and his wife were getting divorced. He again asked me to keep our past between us and take it to the grave." "I told him that was fine. He then asked if my boyfriend and I would like to grab a drink and catch up. I said sure. About a month later, he told me they were reconciling and no longer divorcing. I asked if he still wanted to get that drink. He said no, because he didn’t know how he would explain being out for drinks with me and my boyfriend to his wife. She has no idea we were ever involved. That irritated me. To anyone else, it would just look like three guys having a drink. My boyfriend and I do not walk around with T-shirts on that read “GAY” on the back. We would simply be at a bar, not doing anything inappropriate. But to him, even that felt like too much of a risk." — "There’s one woman I linked up with seven or eight years ago. She’s been married for about four years now. She’s still sending me nudes. I feel guilty but still ask her now and then." "I used to work maintenance at a 'fully furnished' apartment building in college and set aside a brand new bed and mattress for myself in a storage closet before I moved. I took out my 'free bed' to the loading dock at 2 am so no one would see me taking company property." "Years ago, my wife and I were looking for a new house. We were out with the agent one day touring a house that we really liked. Then, I unexpectedly had to take a big dump while we were there. No big deal, we were thinking of buying the place anyway, so why not try the plumbing out? So I did. But then, realized there was no toilet paper anywhere, and I definitely needed some. My solution? There was a beige towel hanging next to the shower. I used that, then carefully hung it back on the towel rack. Told the wife I no longer thought this was the house for us, and we left." "I saw a body being dumped into a river as a teen when my friends and I were partying under a bridge. We never told anyone because the guys doing the dumping looked like cops. That was well over 20 years ago, and I moved far away from that area, but I still feel weird about telling anyone. The police in that town are corrupt as fuck." "My dream job has always been to be a porn star. Now I am too old and wish I would have taken the chance." "I stole a dog from an abusive owner and gave it to a loving family. He has an amazing life now and its probably the best thing I've ever done in my life." "I told the US Marshalls where my drug addict little bro and his addict baby mama were staying so they could go arrest them and maybe they’d serve time and get clean. I made an executive decision for my beloved bro, my SIL and my 4yo nephew. The marshal promised me that they’d not go in hot as my bro wasn’t dangerous and didn’t have any weapons. It all went really well as that Marshal was on phone with me during entire operation. They both served 10 months and my nephew stayed with me." "I was 17 and tripping on LSD, and bought a sapling of a redwood tree from the gift store of a regional park where I was tripping. I gave it to my parents. That tree is still growing in their backyard and is 20+ feet tall." "My mother in law is named after her father's first fiancé. She broke it off. Gramps named his first daughter after her. He told me this one night over a bottle of whiskey. Love of his life...his wife still inside mind you. Never told my mother in law or my wife. He's dead now. But no one needs to know. Those are the tales of a dead man. No reason to potentially let it cause hurt on the living." something. If you're feeling brave enough to confess something to the internet, go right ahead—we read every comment!. The 988 Lifeline is available 24/7/365. Your conversations are free and confidential. Other international suicide helplines can be found at
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