Red-Pilled Americans Explain Why Men Should Never Get Married

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Red-Pilled Americans Explain Why Men Should Never Get Married
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  • 📰 TheOnion
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  • 2 min. at publisher
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  • News: 13%
  • Publisher: 51%

Red-pilled individuals claim they have awakened to the truth that no-fault divorce, spousal support, custody laws, and many other things associated with marriage are biased against men. The Onion asked red-pilled Americans to explain why men should never get married, and this is what they said.

Charles Hickman, Bailiff “Marriage is just society’s way of trying to cage men in a prison of feeling deeply loved and understood.” Pat Hiken, Economist “Because it’s only a matter of time before you get divorced and are saddled with having to fuck strangers while your ex-wife raises your child.” Owen Montgomery, Chef “My dad was married, and he produced me. Case in point.” Dylan Plaxton, Real Estate Broker “I must protect my net worth of $700.

Or maybe that’s just what happened in a fan fiction. I can’t remember.” Noah Bennett, Event Coordinator “Oh gosh, because we’re all so shy!” Sam Huller, Blogger “Who the hell would clean, cook, and make love to me if I were to get married and leave behind my Sims family?” Corey Young, Student “I want to live a life full of meaningless sex with increasingly younger women and die having never opened myself up to human connection, just like my dad.

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