'I feel like I’m always letting my kids and myself down, whether by overreacting during an argument or forgetting a sporting event. Other families seem perfect compared to the disarray of my ADHD household. What am I doing wrong?”
, contain helpful tools for combating reactivity and improving self-control to improve accountability and brainstorm new ways of being in the moment.is about self-sacrifice. We prioritize others’ needs over our own. We give, we give, we give more, and then we feel bad that we’re not giving enough — or we begin to feel resentful.
Do you put yourself last at home or at work? Do you criticize your efforts as not good enough or missing the mark? This cycle of negativity definitely doesn’t make you feel good about yourself now, and it doesn’t show your kids what it’s like to have positivewhen you’re an adult.
My inner critic says things to me like, “You should do this better.” This noise is debilitating because it pushes me too hard to be a perfectionist or it makes me feel like I’m never good enough. As a woman and mother, I continue to find ways to turn down the volume on this voice.help us call out and quiet our inner critics. It also helps us accept ourselves, warts and all.
If you’re struggling with not feeling good enough, I also recommend keeping a journal where you write down three things that went well each day. They can be small: “I liked the stir fry I made” or “I like how my hair looks.” Noting these positive moments helps shift attention away from negativity towards better self-worth.Most people don’t want someone else to solve their problems. They want to feel heard, to feel cared about, and to be supported in coming to their own conclusions.
When we mothers pressure ourselves to fix things and resolve other people’s conflicts for them, we often overstep our bounds and inadvertently make things worse. Meet your children where they are, not where you think they should be based on comparisons to others. Listen to what they’re telling you with their words, their emotions, and their bodies. Ask if they want your advice before you give it, particularly for tweens, teens, and emerging adults.
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