Typical coping skills, like relaxation, deep breaths, are taking a walk, are difficult to implement In the tough moments. So what can you do when those big emotions come out?
struggle to manage emotions and reactivity and get the brain and body to settle down. They need help… but what kind? And how often?
Teaching the executive functioning skills necessary for managing emotional upsets requires collaboration with your adolescent — and compassion for their struggles. It’s no fun for her to blow her top or worry herself sick. If she had the ability to make other choices, she probably would. But she can’t see alternatives in the moment. Practicing emotional regulation calls on several executive functioning skills simultaneously — impulse control, working memory, self-awareness, and judgment.
Institute a time-apart system: When either of you notices that things are heating up, call for a time-apart. Decide how long you will separate, where you will go, and when you will get back together to discuss things in a calmer state of mind. Give everyone a minimum of 30 minutes to do this because it takes at least 15 minutes for the brain and body to recalibrate.
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