An expert on grief recommends giving people space and time to come to terms with loss and don’t expect them to need — or want — 'closure.'
From the breakup of a relationship to losing a loved one, people are often told to find “closure” after traumatic things happen.
Why did closure become popular?Closure is entrenched in popular culture not because it is a well-defined, understood concept that people need, but rather because the idea of closure can be used to sell products, services and even political agendas. So what is the problem with closure?It is not the mere presence of closure as a concept that is a problem. The concern comes when people believe closure must be found in order to move forward.
If not closure, then what?As a grief researcher and public speaker, I engage with many different groups of people seeking help in their grief journeys or looking for ways to better support others. I’ve listened to hundreds of people who share their experiences with loss. And I learn time and again that people do not need closure to heal.
Rather than expecting yourself and others to find closure, I would suggest creating space to grieve and to remember trauma or loss as needed. Here are a few suggestions to get started:
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