Psychologists Recommend We Parent in 'Shifts,' and It Is Single-Handedly Saving Our Marriage

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Psychologists Recommend We Parent in 'Shifts,' and It Is Single-Handedly Saving Our Marriage
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'Being able to have every other night off from bedtime struggles has made me more patient and present . . .'

After the first few weeks in lockdown, my partner and I were stepping on each other's toes, bickering about minor infractions, and playing a constant game of tit for tat. There had to be a better way to get through this time, but we sure as hell hadn't figured it out.

. We discovered efficiency in splitting up: one parent would get groceries with the baby while the other took the toddler to a playdate. But save for running errands and doing ballet class dropoffs, we have always worked together with a lot of the household parenting tasks. We jointly got them up and dressed in the morning, and we'd put them to bed as a united front.

"It's psychological and emotional, too," he told POPSUGAR."For parents, I would suggest this as a good opportunity for setting up some 'shifts' for dealing with kids, such that both parents don't have to be 'on-duty' all the time. Short of something drastic occurring, the on-duty parent would then be literallyfor that shift, leaving the other parent to do whatever he or she needs or wants to during that time.

"After shifts, parents can talk about what worked and what needs improving," Roffman said."An arrangement like this works best when it is collaborative and partners are mutually supportive."

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