'Looking back on it now, I hate myself for it.'
, the Duchess of Sussex recalls wanting to end her life while at the height of her tensions with the rest of the royal family and the constant attacks from the British press. Meanwhile, Harry and Meghan's mother, Doria Ragland, remember what it was like seeing Meghan reach such a low point in her life.
"I remember her telling me that she had wanted to take her own life, and that broke my heart, because I knew that it was bad," Ragland says, "but to constantly be picked at by these vultures, just picking away at her spirit, that she would actually think about not wanting to be here, that’s not an easy one for a mom to hear, and I can’t protect her. H can’t protect her."
The duke admits that while he understood Meghan's struggle, he was so blinded by his commitment to his royal duties at the time that he didn't give her the support she needed. As if to say, 'Well, everybody else has dealt with it, why can’t she deal with it?' But this was different, it was really different."
"No one one sees what’s happening behind closed doors," Harry says, noting how his mom would head to public engagements in "floods of tears" while King Charles III would warn her when she would need to ready herself to look presentable.
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