Violence against women has many social factors, but it’s not just a ‘bad man’ problem: it’s a whole-of-society problem
‘Under their facade of control, these men are generally very miserable. Yet, lacking guidance on alternative behaviours, they remain trapped in a destructive pattern,’ says Sian Ord from Relationships Australia.‘Under their facade of control, these men are generally very miserable. Yet, lacking guidance on alternative behaviours, they remain trapped in a destructive pattern,’ says Sian Ord from Relationships Australia.
Men have to sit with the consequences. Some of them will start feeling some shame about their behaviour and we work with them in that level of shame.Men will do things to feel power, to feel that sense of bravado. Some go out of their way other men, to show how tough they are. Some feel very threatened by feminism, and say that feminism has gone too far.
The only long-term predictor is if women feel safe, but we don’t have the funding to check up on the men two years after they’ve left the programs. We are not sure how long lasts but we are hopeful.Sian Ord from Relationships Australia’s NSW family safety program runs a Men’s Behaviour Change Programs called Taking Responsibility.
Despite these perceived benefits, under their facade of control, these men are generally very miserable. Yet, lacking guidance on alternative behaviours, they remain trapped in a destructive pattern. Often men who have violence-supporting attitudes get incredibly controlling of their daughters’ relationships but don’t understand that by being a healthy and respectful role model they can ensure their children are much safer. This is what forms a child’s understanding of how relationships work.
Men in group usually only share what has already been recorded by the courts or police reports that may have contributed to them being referred to the group. They will often talk about “the incident”, where they isolate one behaviour and begin by talking about the ways she was behaving prior to admitting to one small piece of information that describes a sole act of abuse.
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