Police Stop Black Civilian For Fitting Description Of Giant Fire-Breathing Reptile Terrorizing Tokyo

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Police Stop Black Civilian For Fitting Description Of Giant Fire-Breathing Reptile Terrorizing Tokyo
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LOS ANGELES—In an incident widely criticized as racial profiling, sources reported Thursday that L.A. police officers had stopped a local Black man who they claimed fit the description of a giant, fire-breathing reptile that was currently terrorizing Tokyo. “Right after we heard reports of a 400-foot kaiju knocking…

LOS ANGELES—In an incident widely criticized as racial profiling, sources reported Thursday that L.A. police officers had stopped a local Black man who they claimed fit the description of a giant, fire-breathing reptile that was currently terrorizing Tokyo.

“Right after we heard reports of a 400-footknocking down Tokyo skyscrapers, we saw you cruising down Wilshire Boulevard, and we thought, ‘Hey, that’s the guy,’” officer Jake Landon said as he frisked the 5-foot-10, 180-pound African American he had detained 5,400 miles away from the ongoing mayhem in the Japanese capital, asking what had made him rise from Tokyo Bay, swat away incoming fighter jets, and proceed to leave a wake of desolation through the city.

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