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BOSTON—Blowing dust off a scientific breakthrough that could fundamentally alter human perception of the universe, physicists at Boston University reportedly discovered a never-before-seen elementary particle in the back of an old cupboard Wednesday.
“In what constitutes a giant leap forward in the field of quantum mechanics, one of our researchers was rooting around in a cabinet and came across this thing, just lying there behind a long-forgotten bag of dried lentils,” said physics professor Garrett Percy, confirming the hitherto unknown boson particle must have been there for decades and might have even belonged to the previous tenant.
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