She feels guilty about how bitter she is toward people who were promoted over her, but who aren't doing a good job.
Still, I'm not sure there is a cure for watching someone prove you should have gotten their job.Corrections — where they say “oops” and hand the job to you after all — are rare, if not unicorns.
Reframing is a great option when your life takes a rewarding turn after a rejection, allowing you to credit the rejection for making the good thing possible. But it is a bit like waiting for your life to happen. Averting your eyes is a strong, underrated approach — I get so few chances to counsel denial! — but only when used sparingly. Leaving everywhere puts you nowhere.Logic, maybe? I'm all for it: It's true that you don't know, can't know, whether you deserved the job equally or wanted it more, or would have done it better, worked as hard, or appreciated it more.
When your nagging disappointments and the next competition are all you have, they’re all you think about. When you have other pursuits besides competitive work/school, however, ones that aren’t subject to judges or a selection committee or aimed at a prize — when they’re entirely your own — then your life will have less room for these disappointments to settle in.
Such interests must be genuine to be effective, but you can prod them along, whether it’s cultivating hobbies or immersing yourself in friends or singing badly to your playlists in the car. Anything but notches in the “success” belt. I ask you, does your dog care that you lost out to a lesser candidate? No, he does not. Full lives can absorb a lot.
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