Love and obligation or 'so much in common'? A writer is torn between a 30-year-marriage and a four-year affair.
That’s the timely question, since you have just about exhausted your list of things not to do.
It’s her life you’re weighing here, not just your own, so give her commensurate say. Tell her what you’ve done, why, and why you haven’t just made up your mind to stay or go. If you don’t know why, then tell her you don’t know why. This is no time to be coy; she deserves the best life she can make of her new circumstances, and she can’t judge that until she actually knows what they are.
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