Carolyn Hax: Favoritism charge leads to rift between adopted, biological siblings
Set the money issue aside for a second, since he could reasonably have meant that as compensation for his care.Are your siblings right that your parents showed favoritism toward the biological kids?If so, then I don’t see a reconciliation ever happening unless you acknowledge that. Fully and with regret for not seeing it sooner and stepping in on their behalf.
If you believe they’re wrong, then I expect they need you at least to acknowledge why they think that. They drew this conclusion somehow, and presumably have their reasons. Those reasons represent real and painful feelings, which are worth validating even if you disagree with the conclusion they’re being used to support.
This is all academic if they won’t engage with you, but it’s something you can at least write to them in a letter.As for the money, or, more important, the “legal fight,” that might come with such bad feelings of its own that acknowledging the old hurts will be too little, too late. Either way, showing up on doorsteps does not sound like a good idea, even if it becomes possible.· My brother was SURE I was wrong when I talked about my mom loving him and being terrible to me.
· These people no longer want you in their lives. Their reasons are none of your business. Accept it and leave them alone.