Personal Perspective: Differences in the way we each perceive and interface with the world can present challenges in our relationships. Can we learn to harmonize with each other?
Variance in neuronal microcircuitry leads to cognitive and behavioral divergence between individuals.Diverse neuro-functionality can lead to misunderstanding and antipathy between individuals. Accounting for variation in neuro-functionality might facilitate positive interpersonal interactions.
For most people, major neurological pathways develop, connect up, and function, similarly. Between all of us, there is a consistency in neurological anatomy and physiology. From this, there result bell-shaped curves for the myriad of human neurological functions . For most individuals, most neurological functions fall within some standard deviation of a mean. Within a society, certain functionalities will be valued more than others. Thus, for said functionalities, staying close to the mean, or exceeding it, will contribute to success within the society. Ultimately, in a given society, some combination of valued cognitive and behavioral performance will generate a concept of what is “normal” or “typical” neurological functionality . Those who diverge too much from this may have difficulty “fitting into” said society. Diverge enough, and an individual may be affixed a diagnosis, and attempts may be made to medically alter or “correct” their “atypical” functionalities.Within this paradigm, it would be easy to assume that there would be a degree of cognitive and behavioral uniformity within the population of a specific society. And if so, one might expect members of said population to interface easily, to integrate readily, to perhaps even resonate with one another. After all, they would perceive and process their worlds similarly. They would share similar mental maps of their universes. They would enjoy similar interests and exhibit similar behavioral responses to their environments. They would easily interpret and process the behavior of others. They would readily forge hardy relationships with others, driven by mutual comprehension. They would effortlessly develop creative and vocational synergy with one another. They would coalesce into collaborative and productive groups and teams with ease. And yet, reality seems to reflect something else. Dissonance. Often profound dissonance. Between countrymen, acquaintances, neighbors, colleagues, even friends and family members. It seems to populate so many of our everyday interpersonal experiences. And here lies the neurological rub. Although our functionalities hover around some societally reinforced means, there is significant leeway in this hovering—particularly when considering the thousands of cognitive and behavioral functions our brains are constantly managing. We may be wired similarly, but we are far from being wired the same. From the start, our blueprints are subtly different. As we form, the way the blueprints are transcribed is affected by countless environmental influences—perhapsback to our grandparents. Then, as our nascent neurons try to attend to the blueprints, countless more influences alter their production, their sprouting, their paths, their interactions, their formation of connections. Once all wired up, neurons by the truckload are removed or modified, cables are insulated heavily, or lightly, or not at all. Connections are aggressively pruned or are fortified—again, all subject to innumerable environmental influences . And once all set up, every component of the system—neurons, axonal myelination, dendrites, synapses, receptors, neurotransmitters, vascular supply, astrocytic support, protein transcription, and the rest—is under constant modification. The net effect is a diversity of neuronal structure and function of staggering proportions—one we have no hope of fully defining from person to person. Even if we can conquer its complexity with supercomputers, it’s a moving target with its anatomic and functional wiring diagram always in flux, always changing, predicated on each individual’s interface with the universe, external and internal. We cannot be certain that any of us experience reality in the exact same way. No wonder we respond to various stimuli so disparately. We are anything but identically functioning automatons.functionality of ours differs from that of a fellow being, it may be subtle enough that it goes unnoticed. When a large number of functionalities differ, even subtly, or a single functionality varies a lot, the risk of misunderstanding and conflict grows. We find ourselves troubled or at least puzzled as to why our fellow beings act the way they do. Consider experiencing the same event as a co-worker. Have you ever found yourself incredulous as to their response? How about with a loved one? It can be galling, can’t it? We struggle to conceive how they could generate an interpretation of an event that is diametrically opposed to ours. We're surprised when what we find pleasant and enjoyable proves to be like fingernails on a chalkboard to them. Or what we find interesting isWhen faced with such divergence, we often resort to telling ourselves a story about our counterparts' thoughts or motivations because their responses are so foreign to us. Of course, our story is predicated on howConsider the strain this cognitive/behavioral diversity puts on every relationship. We’re occupying different worlds. We're trying to make sense of and make our way in said worlds, armed often with markedly different processors. Think of the challenge this presents in every interaction, be it casual, professional, within aour children to get along. Having watched my three sons grow up, I have to say it’s a wonder they tolerate each other at all. The diversity in their neuronal milieus has been on full display since the days of their births. They are all kind, caring, thoughtful individuals, but they are vastly divergent in how they interface with their worlds. Same with all the neurosurgical residents I have trained—hardly a homogeneous collection of beings.deviate from the neuro-functional mean. Imagine how stilted life would be if we all thought and acted in lockstep with one another. How could you start a band if everyone played the same instrument? One might even argue that it’s worth placing high value on neuro-functional diversity, even when it stretches beyond a specific society’s norms. It’s likely that diversity, not uniformity, drives adaptation to changing circumstances, spurs higher thought and greater achievement, and fuels But it can also lead to misunderstanding, and conflict, and closing of the mind. Or simply getting on one another's"nerves." So it’s worth considering our neurological diversity when interacting with each other. Rather than convincing ourselves that wethe thought processes and motivations of others, perhaps we would do better to ask how they are perceiving various situations and how they understand their responses to them. And we might want to share with them howexchanges will likely build better understanding, more harmonious co-existence, and greater trust. Also, it’s a fun exercise to play with when the stakes are low and the emotions aren’t running high.Legault, M., et al. . Neurocognitive Variety in Neurotypical Environments: The Source of “Deficit” in Autism. Journal of Behavioral and Brain Science. Vol. 9 No.6, June 2019., teaches medical school and undergraduate neuroscience courses at Virginia Tech. He is the author of three books on burnout and resilience, as well as the novelLife never gets easier. Fortunately, psychology is keeping up, uncovering new ways to maintain mental and physical health, and positivity and confidence, through manageable daily habits like these. How many are you ready to try?Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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