Personal Perspective: We use theory of mind to assess what other people think or feel as well as what they think or feel about us. If you are doing it, then everyone is doing it.
When things go awry, we can choose to be judgmental about others or curious.I recently had my eggs crushed by a watermelon. The person bagging my groceries put the eggs on the bottom of the bag and a watermelon on top! I got home with a soggy bag of uncooked scrambled eggs and was pretty angry at first.
I think this is a much more interesting and productive way to approach people: by applying theory of mind. I think it is much more thought-provoking to wonder why a person would put a watermelon on a carton of eggs. Rather than be judgmental, I am truly curious and interested in why we do what we do. It actually becomes quite compelling and uplifting to wonder about each other in this way, moving away from the potentially downward spiral of criticism, where no one ever feels very good.
This is not about making excuses: On the contrary. I don’t like having broken eggs. I don’t condone or make an excuse for breaking the eggs. That grocery bagger will be held responsible and will pay for those broken eggs. But it would be powerful for her to still feel respected, even if she broke the eggs, as still having done the best she could, for whatever reason. Who am I to say that at any and every moment in time, we are not doing the best we can, at an I-M: a current maximum potential.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
A Personal Perspective: The early pain is unbearable but your brain protects you from the memory.A Personal Perspective: Once the worst pain of grief passes, it can be hard to remember what it felt like.
Read more »
A Personal Perspective: Achieve lasting change and peace.A Personal Perspective: Internal Family Systems (IFS) or "parts" therapy can heal old wounds and break unhelpful patterns that get in our way.
Read more »
Personal Perspective: You can be mostly sober.Personal Perspective: Quitting nightly drinking is tough. But if you want to cut back on alcohol, and get happier and healthier, read on.
Read more »
Personal Perspective: A shift in the legal landscape to combat gun violence.By bringing charges against the father of the Apalachee High School shooter, prosecutors are illustrating how the U.S. can combat the epidemic of gun violence.
Read more »
A Personal Perspective: How a Japanese word showed me the power of true rest.Personal Perspective: Always on the go like a hamster on a wheel? A Japanese phrase convinced me to jump off for a break.
Read more »
A Personal Perspective: What I wish my parents had known about grief.A Personal Perspective: Even when tragedy strikes, parenting does not end. Parents and children deserve more information and clarity about grief. This is my story.
Read more »