Going no contact isn't trendy. Behind every hashtag are millions of human stories, each as unique as the person living it.
. There are viral videos and hashtags championing the decision to go no contact. But with increased visibility comes more scrutiny: Is estrangement just a fad? Are more parents and adult children becoming estranged than in years past? Are peopleFrom my perspective, estrangement is never an easy decision. Even when it’s the only path forward, walking that path can feel excruciating.
Cutting contact was a last resort and a crucial decision, not only for my own mental health, but for the health and safety of my children, who were at risk of suffering the same harm I had experienced. In the end, it was what we all needed to survive . Still, cycle-breaking made me unpopular. When I first spoke up about the abuse I experienced and made the difficult choice to cut contact with my mother, I faced questions and pushback from others. I was told that I was selfish, I was overreacting, hurting my mother’s feelings, throwing off the equilibrium of the family. My therapist at the time explained that in the landscape of my family of origin, I was the one who stood up in the boat.
The next time you scroll social media, remember that behind every hashtag is a human story – or in this case, millions of estrangement stories – each one as unique as the person living it.At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.
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