'I realized my mom was just a girl when I took her to see her idol, Paul Anka, when she was 79 years old. We were driving in the carpool lane, passing everyone on their way home from work, music blasting. She started laughing and waving as we flew by. ...'
"My mom is an absolute Disney World fan, and I adore that so much about her. She had a rough childhood, and I feel like her inner child gets so happy every time we go to the park. I obviously wasn't around when she was a young girl, but I really want to help my mom embrace the youth she didn't get to have.""My mom caught me smoking pot when I was 16, and told me about how she experimented with it as a teenager as well.
"...After her diagnosis, and the sudden death of my stepfather, I had to dig through boxes of documents. In those boxes, I found my mother's dissertation. My mom, who didn’t go to college and had to work her way up from the bottom to the top of her career. As I read it, I found the science nerd in my mom. I was in shock as I read her paper, only to realize this was her high school graduation paper. My mom was SO smart, and I could see for the first time ever that my mom had dreams.
"...After one night full of poor decisions from the both of them, my mom finally left. She didn't take anything with her in the divorce, and she never looked back. The part that kills me, though, is how little my family seemed to care about my mom and her feelings. She found out later that her sister and her husband still talked to her ex-husband. When she asked them why, they told her that they felt like they lost a friend when she divorced him.
"Realizing that her finally finding herself meant that, at some point, she had lost herself was a huge wakeup call, because I realized I'd done the same thing. It's so hard for us as women to prioritize ourselves, especially since we are natural nurturers. But knowing that my daughter also sees me sacrificing my own identity has lit a fire under me to truly focus on self-care and the boundaries around that — not only for my own benefit, but to also set an example for her.
"I see my mom being really angry and impatient with my grandmother, but I see that underneath is just a girl who is hurting because her mother never really made her feel loved or expressed being proud of her. "Not even going to lie, I did tear up after reading these stories.
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