I have seen the most pain, disillusionment, and torture in those who have fallen in love with people who seduce, capture, and then leave without a trace.
These relationships don’t end all at once but through many unexplained absences and excuses.Over the four-plus decades I have been a relationship therapist, I have seen the most pain, disillusionment, and torture in those who have fallen in love with people who seduce, capture, and then leave them without a trace.
Much of the confusion happens because these relationships don’t end all at once. There are many unexplained absences, multiple excuses, and promises of new behaviors as these partners continue to charm, reconnect, and then disappear again and again. Surprisingly, when I ask them if they regret being in the relationship, many are embarrassed to admit that not only would they never have wanted to miss the experience, but they would likely try again were that person to come back into their life and stay there. They are still trapped in a fantasy over which they never had any control.
After repeatedly telling the same stories about how wonderful they are and how others are always to blame, they believe them, even if they are exaggerations or fantasies that are likely never to have occurred in how they are professed.Glib and convincing, they agree to their availability but show up intermittently, keeping their partners always wondering if they will come through.
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