Paris Hilton Says Getting an Abortion in Her 20s Was an ‘Intensely Private Agony’

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Paris Hilton Says Getting an Abortion in Her 20s Was an ‘Intensely Private Agony’
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Paris Hilton Says Getting Abortion in Her 20s Was an ‘Intensely Private Agony’

The Simple Life

. At the time, Hilton says she was having a “glorious…wild-child moment,” clubbing “almost every night” and hamming it up for the paparazzi with co-star Nicole Richie. But the glitz of that moment “all came crashing down” when Hilton realized she was pregnant as a 22-year-old and began to feel the physical and emotional effects of her unplanned pregnancy on her body:

“It was like waking up on the ledge outside a 40th-floor window. I was terrified and heartsick. The hormones sent my ADHD symptoms spiraling. Everything I knew about myself was at war with everything I’d been raised to believe about abortion. No one can ever know how hard it is to face this impossible choice unless she’s faced it herself.

The fantasy of a perfect family tempted Hilton, but she knew that the trauma she was going through—healing from sexual assault and her time in a “troubled teen” institution—meant that “there was no happy little family at stake.” Going through with the pregnancy “would have been a train wreck for everyone involved,” and at that moment in time Hilton knew she “was in no way capable of being a mother.” Or at least, not just yet.

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