The Easy Discipline Hack That Replaced Time-Outs in My Family
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, we found it. Instead of giving a consequence for your child’s action, Faber and Mazlish write,When we punish our kids, the emphasis is on the bad actions they keep doing. This creates a negative atmosphere—one that I was sick of. As family therapist
I was skeptical it would work, but I was willing to try almost anything. Problem No. 1: My small children kept waking us up every morning—even on the weekends . So, we made our first list. Next, we crossed out the solutions that didn’t work for either the kids or the adults. Finally, after compiling our list, we came to an agreement: The kids were allowed to get up whenever they wanted, but if our door was shut, it meant they had to play quietly or turn on a cartoon in the family room.
The list idea has worked in other problem-solving situations in our home too. We used it to help the kids to. Each child came up with a plan as to where and when they would do their assignments. Because they took ownership over the ideas, they follow their plans. We’ve used it to solve sibling squabbles, too: For example, if they both want to play with a toy that can’t be shared, then they created the game plan as to who uses it when, and for how long. The control is in their hands.
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