Opinion: Why did seeing a strong Black woman on 'The Bear' make me cry? (via latimesopinion)
‘The Bear’ star Lionel Boyce takes us on a food crawl through Inglewood for breakfast, soul food, doughnuts and chicken wings.My heart sank when Claire appeared as a love interest for Carmy. We all know the type. She’s the fantasy girlfriend we meet in lots of contemporary stories about love: accessibly pretty so as not to overwhelm or threaten her guy; self-sacrificing and baggage-free so he never has to show interest in her inner life.
, I’m not alone. A married friend told me she prefers seeing “a Black woman voice her ideas and lead,” and that Sydney “makes me wish I’d been like her in my 20s.” An unmarried friend loves that Sydney shows “how much harder a woman has to work to be acknowledged and accepted.” Seems more women, single or otherwise, see themselves as Sydneys.Over the years, I’ve moved through phases of acceptance of my solo status — this is fine, this is hell — though now, I’m enjoying my solitude.
But the show takes an unexpected turn when Carmy feels panicky. What calms him? Thoughts of Sydney, not the eternally accommodating fantasy girl. It’s the woman who sees herself as his equal who helps Carmy regulate himself and makes him feel comfortable in his own skin again. The woman who sees his “stuff” and doesn’t tolerate it. The woman with big talent, smarts and goals she sinks her teeth into.A man once told me I didn’t seem the type to settle down.
So, when Sydney later expresses insecurities and Carmy tells her he won’t let her fail, I thought, “This is my favorite show of all time.” When we see strong-willed, self-determined women, particularly women of color, presented as symbols of female desirability whom men should aspire to make themselves worthy of, paradigms shift in the culture. When we consider women who follow their callings just as admirable as those who follow their hearts, we all win.“Sweet, Soft, Plenty Rhythm,” which will be released in paperback this month.
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