[OPINION] Mom in the mirror: A reflection on my new mom bod

'I know this body has survived more than 24 hours of labor and a normal delivery, but all I see now is the damage in the aftermath.' Voices

I don’t like what I see. A few months after giving birth, the belly is still protruding. It is a bulge turned loose and deflated with stretch marks. Both breasts rest on it, as if pulled by gravity after the long passage of time. It has only been nine months, however, followed by the aggressive sucking of a newborn. I know this body has survived more than 24 hours of labor and a normal delivery, but all I see now is the damage in the aftermath.

My bigness during the pregnancy, however, didn’t bother me. All my tests built a picture of overall health for myself and the baby. When someone teased that even my nose had gone big, it didn’t sting. Pregnancy put me in a general state of celebration, especially after being diagnosed with PCOS in my early teenage years. I used to trace the curve of my belly with the palm of my hand in awe. I couldn’t help but smile through how pregnancy made me look, big nose and penguin walks included.

My look clearly belongs at home. Or maybe not even. My grandmother, who is diagnosed with dementia, couldn’t contain her laughter when she held my stomach and joked that there must be another baby inside me. It was perhaps too honest of a remark from a mind that has gone back to her childhood. My mother also told me,as she tucked my uncombed hair behind my ears. When I asked what that meant, she said, “There is not an ounce of vanity left in you.

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