During the COVID-19 pandemic, I miss so much going to synagogue, especially sitting in 'my' seat, which helps bring order to my world.
, I miss the singing. I miss the rabbis’ sermons. I miss seeing my friends. But mostly I miss being in my seat — that fixed place I could return to week in, week out.I miss the routine. I miss knowing that whatever life has thrown my way — work stress, awful news in the headlines, tension or disappointment or celebration — I could return at week’s end to that same spot. I could watch the light stream through the window at the same angle. I could stare at the same ceiling.
Those are all factors. But the pandemic has made me realize that what I value even more is something else: knowing that for a couple of hours on Saturday morning I’m in the right place — in the room, in the world, in my life. For that one brief stretch of time, I’m where I belong. That’s what I long for now — more than the familiar tunes or the cookies afterward. When we’re feeling unmoored, it’s natural to yearn for the familiar.That explains another Jewish custom: After a loved one dies, when you return to synagogue, you don’t sit in your usual place. At the moment you most crave the comfort of routine, you’re expected to forgo it.
Why? Perhaps it’s a way of manifesting outwardly what’s happening inside. If you feel disoriented, confused and lost, why pretend otherwise?When will that day arrive for us as a society? Lately, I spend my Saturday mornings at home with my family and a prayer book. Sometimes I close my eyes and envision the morning when we can return to the rhythms of daily life. I’ll walk the half-mile to my synagogue, smile at the security guard, stroll inside and make my way to my seat.
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