When your kid’s a flailing ball of fists and teeth, most advice no longer applies.
Here’s another bone to pick: Gould is relegated to sainthood status here. She is uniformly, resolutely “calm and empathetic,” while Gessen makes mistakes, and yells, attempts repairs, but overall gets to be the “Bear Dad” to her beatific grace. I wish there were more here of her uncertainty, her insecurity and ambivalence.
”There is, he writes, a “limit” to what you can “get at when chatting with other parents.” We all so often feel like we are wrangling our respective rabid octopuses in the dark. Maybe the “parenting books”—at least the confessional ones—are part of a solution, how we take the conversation “far enough.” Even if we. We share our ugliness, and we forgive each other. Gessen writes, “I think now that there is no tragedy like the tragedy of parenthood,” and I agree, though not for the same reasons.
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