Brian Frazer humorously presents a list of corporate guidelines for ghosts.
Your shift begins when a human sees you, not when you arrive in their home. When you scare somebody, you can no longer say, “Boo.” Our trademark for that expired. Instead, try “Woo-hoo!” or “Yowza!” No more groaning. It makes you seem old. All horrifying sounds must be executed in the correct order. From now on, it’s creaky floors then slamming doors. Henceforth, you will need a vaccine passport to go between earth and the netherworld.
Promotions will no longer be contingent on seniority, and will now be allocated on a “how much did you scare the shit out of people” basis. No more selling ghost merch. No Hamlet doublets, no Patrick Swayze ceramics, no Ghost of Christmas Past bike chains. We’ve realized that it dilutes our brand. If you are exorcised, you will receive only forty per cent of your annual salary. No selfies with the person you’re trying to frighten the bejesus out of.
Satire Corporate Culture Ghosts
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