Finding a good fit with a therapist can be hard, especially when you are childfree. Get equipped to find the perfect match.
. This can become problematic when it is assumed that parenting is necessary for a healthy adulthood. For example, Erik Erikson’s stages ofare characterized by a series of conflicts people must resolve to mature. One of these stages is called “Generativity vs. Stagnation/Self-Absorption,” where the developmental challenge is to find a way to impact the next generation. While there is certainly room for interpretation, this challenge was traditionally thought to be resolved through parenting.
Given the parenting bent of many foundational psychological theories, it’s not entirely surprising that many therapists are not knowledgeable about the childfree-by-choice community. This is unfortunate because this population faces many unique challenges. For example, childfree individuals often face judgment and unsolicited comments, such as “You’ll change your mind,” or “You’ll never experience real love.” This can become a frustrating experience of feeling chronically misunderstood.
Sadly, some therapists might not only lack knowledge of these issues but also exhibit biased attitudes toward the childfree lifestyle. One childfree woman shared her experience online of telling her therapist that she did not want to have kids, only to be met with defensive responses like “opinions change” and even “you have no say in this since you’re 19.” In my practice, I have encountered childfree individuals who have been traumatized by therapists pathologizing the decision to be childfree.
While the field of therapy is evolving, finding a supportive therapist can still be challenging for childfree individuals. There are no clear marks, certifications, or accreditations signaling a therapist is childfree affirming, but there are other ways you might screen for this: It’s important to note that many therapists can only see clients in the state where they are licensed. If your state is not represented in the directory, keep reading!Again, there is currently no recognized process for becoming certified to work with the childfree-by-choice population. However, the term “childfree affirming” is the most well-accepted designation for therapists who specialize in this area.
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