The author grapples with a friend's persistent desire to meet despite expressing a lack of interest, fearing the impact on their friendship and self-esteem due to physical changes since their last encounter.
By R. Eric ThomasI’ve been friends with “Steven” for 40 years. We’ve dabbled in romance a few times when we were both single, but we always return to the platonic comfort zone. We live in separate states and haven’t seen each other for 15 years. We talk on the phone about once a month, and I’m satisfied with that.
I’ve mentioned in conversation that I’ve gained a lot of weight and that I walk with a limp, etc. He doesn’t comment on the subject, just keeps trying to get together with me and I keep making excuses. I’m afraid he’s going to just decide to come to visit me so I can’t get out of it.
Regardless of what Steven wants, I want to emphasize how important your comfort and feelings of self-worth are. You may already know this, but it bears repeating that you’re not less valuable as a friend nor as a person because your body looks and functions differently. If you can, please talk to a counselor or support group that focuses on body image and body acceptance.
Friendship Boundaries Communication Self-Esteem Long-Term Relationships
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