A reader writes about her struggle to maintain a friendship with a woman she connected with over shared experiences of childhood sexual abuse. Now, 15 years later, their conversations revolve around their differing religious beliefs, causing friction. The reader seeks advice on how to navigate this shift in their relationship.
I am a non-observant Jew. My spiritual beliefs are very personal, and I don’t discuss them casually. My mother became a Christian. This is important because, as she went deeper into her Christianity, she made friends who shared her beliefs.
She’s a sweet person but I’ve come to feel like I’m a project of hers rather than a friend. Can you suggest a way forward?Something about her claim that she’s always been accepting toward you doesn’t sit right with me. Your beliefs aren’t something she needs to accept. They are simply a fact for you. And she’s not in a position to decide whose faith is valid. I suspect that, by saying she’s accepting, she’s really indicating that she wishes she didn’t have to be. Hence the project.
FRIENDSHIP DIFFERENCES RELIGION COMMUNICATION BOUNDARIES
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