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A grandmother seeks advice on how to maintain a close relationship with her grandson while navigating the challenges of living near her ex-husband, who remains hostile toward her.
Dear Abby: I want to have a close relationship with my grandson, but it may also mean I may have to put up with my ex, who remains hostile toward me 20 years after our divorce. What should I do? My ex-husband and I share a 3-year-old grandchild through our son. Until now, it hasn’t been a big problem because I live in the same city as my son’s family, but that’s about to change. My grandson is the joy of my life, and I plan to visit wherever they move after my son’s job transfer.
I had been considering a move back to our hometown. Unbeknownst to me, my son has also been considering a move back there. The problem for me is that my ex-husband still lives there, and he’s inclined to take over and monopolize the child in the same way he did with our son. He remains hostile toward me 20 years after our divorce. Part of me says I need to be willing to put up with the pain of being in close proximity to my ex to be near my grandson. However, it reminds me strongly of staying married to him for the sake of what I perceived to be our children’s well-being. In hindsight that was, of course, misguided. Despite my reservations, should I set aside my doubts, move back to my home city and see what happens? Discuss your reservations with your son and daughter-in-law. If your ex-husband tries to monopolize their child, could they put the brakes on it? On the plus side, you are not the same woman you were 20 years ago. I’d like to think that you are stronger and smarter now. If I’m right, while your ex may present a pain in the behind, it would be a tolerable pain, and you would have the access you want to your grandchild
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GRANDPARENTS EX-HUSBAND RELATIONSHIP HOSTILE ADVICE
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