Being neurodivergent in a society built for neurotypicals can come with many challenges, but finding a non-pathologizing therapy approach can lead to lasting change.
Narrative therapy puts a spotlight on the dominant stories that impact your beliefs, behaviors, and emotions. Redirecting your attention toward reinterpreting your dominant plot lines can expand your view of yourself.
Being neurodivergent in a society built for neurotypicals can come with many challenges. You might feel like you’re constantly trying to keep up with life’s demands and still getting left behind. Though this can be exhausting, there’s nothing wrong with you. Your brain is wired to be more impacted by things like sensory input, social expectations, interruptions, or existentialAccommodations, self-advocacy, and balance aren’t concepts that our society readily accepts. So, know that you’re not alone if you feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle for which you didn’t have the energy in the first place. The strain of being expected to meet neurotypical standards despite having a brain that works differently can lead many neurodivergent adults to come to believe that they are broken, unlovable, annoying, too much, or not enough. These self-beliefs get reinforced over time through life experiences that get interpreted to mean that you’ve somehow missed the mark, done things wrong, and caused problems for people around you. The way you interpret and internalize life events makes up your personal narratives, or the way that you view yourself in the world. Narrative therapy puts a spotlight on the dominant stories that impact your beliefs, behaviors, and emotions. So, if you’re struggling with the belief that you’re too much for people, a narrative therapist would begin to explore the life experiences that led you to come to this conclusion about yourself, while also looking for alternative meanings along the way.that doesn’t pathologize people seeking help. While other therapeutic approaches view the therapist as the expert, narrative therapists believe that each person is the expert of their own experiences and that they hold the tools within themselves to move toward change. By viewing you as the driver of your life, narrative therapy leaves room for the unique aspects of youras the cause of your struggles. Instead, it looks at how you view yourself in your life’s story. Do you see yourself as a problem? Are you allowing neurotypical judgments or expectations to determine your beliefs about yourself, or do you get a say in the meaning attached to your experiences?toward re-interpreting or re-storying your dominant plot lines, you can expand your view of yourself and make room for more empowering self-beliefs. Over time, the belief that you’re too much or not enough could get flipped to: you’re enough.You will map out the problems you're facing and how these challenges impact your life, relationships, and identity. By naming the problem, you can begin to externalize it so that negative self-beliefs aren't seen as a part of who you are. You will focus on looking for narratives about your identity that your negative self-beliefs have hidden. You might concentrate on memories or experiences that contradict your negative self-view and demonstrate your values and world beliefs. You will work on truly believing in your new narratives. This is done by exploring more examples from your life that contradict previous problematic narratives and editing old examples to make room for new interpretations. For example, maybe you were misinterpreted in a social situation and ended up losing a friend. You could change the narrative from"I'm a bad friend" to"that person didn't understand me and I'm hurt that they left, but I know that I didn't mean for my actions to push them away."The added strain and distress of constantly feeling like your needs aren’t met is one of the common reasons for the high rates of co-occurring mental health challenges for neurodivergent adults. Another reason is that neurodivergent individuals have an increased risk ofDue to the high rate of co-occurring mental illness in neurodivergent folks, if you're a neurodivergent adult, you might not be a stranger to therapy. Maybe you’ve met with several therapists over the years. Maybe your neurodivergence went unrecognized well into your adulthood. You might have also had experiences with non-affirming healthcare providers that left you feeling more lost afterward. Though it is so painful to cycle through providers without finding someone who seems to understand you, remember you’re not alone, nor are you the problem. Neurodivergent adults report significantly worse mental health symptoms during therapy intake than neurotypical clients, and those who met with a non-affirming healthcare provider are more likely to drop out of or end treatment without seeing improvement. This is why learning about identity-affirming therapeutic approaches, like narrative therapy, is essential when seeking support. In addition, you’ll want to read about any prospective therapist and/or do a consultation with them so that you can learn about their experience with neurodivergence.Kroll, Elizabeth, et al."The positive impact of identity-affirming mental health treatment for neurodivergent individuals." Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 15, 14 July 2024., has 17 years of experience living with, studying, and treating eating disorders. She now has her own practice where she treats gender-expansive and neurodivergent individuals recovering from eating disorders.Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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