Dear How to Do It: Should I risk ruining our amazing sex by overanalyzing this?
I’ve recently started seeing someone who is into having clitoral, vaginal, and anal stimulation simultaneously, and I am very eager to please! The problem is that I am kind of uncoordinated, and struggle to be imaginative when I’m a bit stressed .
This means that I’m having trouble figuring out the practicalities of how to actually stimulate all three of those areas at once. I feel like every time I try, one of my fingers that are in one of her orifices ends up poking her at a weird angle because the palm of one hand is immovably squashed into the wrist of another hand; or I accidentally come way too close to gouging out my eyeball with a rogue enthusiastic thumb; or some other less-than-ideal thing ends up happening.
Furthermore, you’re sort of asking the impossible. You want sex without awkwardness or incoordination, which is not something I’ve experienced. If you watch pornography produced by large studios, you might have certain ideas about how sex is supposed to be. Let me disabuse you of those: Pornography is edited.Even people who have sex for work frequently have awkward moments. We laugh, or we don’t laugh, and we move on. This gets easier with practice, embarrassment tolerance can be built.
The choice comes down to who bears the brunt of broaching something potentially embarrassing. They might not want to say something to you to avoid embarrassing you, and you might not want to say something to them for the same reason. I’m leaning towards you taking the leap yourself, but it’s your decision.
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