In this week's Lalalaletmeexplain column, Lala replies to a reader whose relationship with their mother has become strained after they cut ties with their father
In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problems.
My relationship with her is becoming strained and I don’t know what to do. She's been manipulated to think that he, as an IT savvy man, downloaded the porn by accident when trying to watch adult porn and download music. My mum isn’t very IT savvy and doesn’t watch porn so doesn’t know how easily adult porn is accessible on the internet.
He’s let you all down so badly. It sounds so easy and obvious when you read about it - of course you feel like you’d instantly cut off your husband or your dad the moment he was arrested for a sexual crime against children, but it’s far more complex than that, he’s your dad who you trusted and loved up until that moment. It must be such a shock, and for many families it feels like it can’t be true, especially if the offender is denying it.
The facts are that she is wrong in doubting his conviction, it is clear that he is guilty of the crime he’s been convicted of. You don’t stumble across child sexual abuse images easily. You don’t just fall into the dark web, and if you do - you call the police. But the facts are that this also doesn’t need to be something that means that you can never have a relationship with either of your parents again.
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