Read how one mom's experiences led her to decide to only have one child .
You’re right. It’s not my real excuse for havingI love my sister. She is my best friend, even if I don’t ever tell her that. Even if she lives more than 1,000 miles away. Even if we spent chunks of our 20s not really liking each other very much. Without her, I don’t know how I would have survived the traumatic and mundane events of my childhood and adulthood. I don’t know if the highlights would have been anywhere near as high.
Anyone who has witnessed one of these episodes would be concerned with my ability to care for an animal, let alone another human. I doubted it for a while too. There’s no way I’d remember to feed him, I thought. I will be one of those parents you read about in the news who accidentally leave their kids at home, at the store, or at school. I will cause this child so much anxiety over always being late to everything important to him.
This isn’t about how hard babies are . Mostly, it’s about how disastrous I am at leading my own life. Another kid would break me, and it wouldn’t be fair to anyone in this equation. The chaos would take over yet again. In the place of yearning tothat so many people seem to experience, I have a solid lump of fear that I might accidentally get pregnant. It wakes me up in the middle of the night.
All I can do is my best, though. I can be his buddy as often as I’m able. I can arrange for play dates when I’m not. We invite the neighbor’s kid to play often, and she hangs out for long enough to make him crazy. Then he escorts her back down the stairs, returning grateful that he has only an occasional “little sister.”
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