My IVF Experience Didn’t End With a Baby

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My IVF Experience Didn’t End With a Baby
United States Latest News,United States Headlines
  • 📰 Allure_magazine
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One woman's story of what happens when you don't get the miracle.

After our decision to stop IVF, I went full force into getting my life back. I began working out again, every day, hard. I turned my sole-proprietor psychotherapy practice into a thriving group practice. I took vacations with my husband. I visited friends.

the dirty diapers, the back-talking, the limit-pushing, the tantrums before bed. I would have loved the childbirth scars, the saggy breasts. I would have given birth in the street if I could have changed places with them. These people certainly didn’t want to hurt me, it’s just the way people talk about parenting, and it's coupled with an expectation from many that every woman will be a parent and “someday, you’ll understand.

I began to think that I should do what I encourage my clients to do: Talk about it. Decrease its power. The pain exists because it festers, it has nowhere to go. So I started saying it out loud: “We tried IVF but, unfortunately, it didn't work for us.” The response was not overwhelming empathy or relatability. It wasn't evenwhelming empathy or relatability. It was just... nothing. Uncomfortable stares. Changing the subject. Physically edging away.

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