Dear How to Do It: I’m really starting to get jealous.
writes that more than two thirds of mixed-orientation marriages end in divorce, which means that about a third do not. Elsewhere, he writes:In any marriage, nobody knows what will happen years down the line. For gay husbands, people foolishly and falsely “know” the only way the marriage can go: He will have sex with men, fall in love with a man, and leave you. The truth is that his love for you and his family may motivate him to satisfy his identity needs in a variety of ways.
Learning from other people who have been in similar situations, or have known people in similar situations, may at least help you progress.Yours is a particularly fraught case, because it involved cheating. We forgive a lot of lies when people come out, but you’re under no obligation to let that one slide. Also, your husband doesn’t seem to have his story straight . He fell in love with another guy, and wants to hook up casually, and would “likely be monogamous with a man.
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