Dear How to Do It: How do I convince my husband to change the terms of our deal?
I was 25 when I married a twice-divorced man in his 40s and agreed to something I now regret. Because his previous marriages had failed due to his cheating, he proposed that we have a “limited open marriage,” in which he could have sex with other women when he was traveling on business. At the time, he would go to a couple of conventions each year and a few short, out-of-state trips. It seemed reasonable to me, and I didnt imagine wanting to have sex with anyone else.
But cheating is still cheating—this is the supreme rule. Ethical relationships are relationships in which both partners are aware of what’s going on. It’s not wrong to have sex with other people, but you can’t lie about your sexual activity in a healthy relationship. If you go that route, prepare for it to catch up with you sooner or later.Sex advice from Rich and Stoya, plus exclusive letter follow-ups, delivered weekly.Send me updates about Slate special offers.
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