Dear Care and Feeding: I want to be back to “normal” just as much as he wants me to!
. In any case, there is no magic hormone-balancing pill. Your doctor may prescribe an antidepressant and may refer you to a mental health professional as well. There is no short-term “strategy” that will fix what’s going on even temporarily.
But I’ll tell you what is making matters worse: Your husband’s behavior toward you. You say nothing about what things were like between the two of you before your second child was born, and I don’t want to make any assumptions about your marriage. But his suspicion that you’re faking it—that you suffer mood swings “when it’s convenient”—and his lack of sympathy alarms me. I’m troubled that his family has come to stay with you during a period when you are suffering—and when heyou’re suffering.
Our last puppy, “Nala,” was a joy to be around. We all had a difficult time letting go of her, especially my 5-year-old niece, who spent lots of time with her. Often she’d visit us just so that she could see Nala. My niece is very shy and introverted and had been scared of dogs before Nala came into her life. When Nala passed the qualification test, my sister asked me to please contact them if Nala ended up being available for adoption.
She called me to chew me out about it. I explained the adoption process, sent her the center’s information page on it, and said that I would be more than happy to take my niece to see dogs in shelters and/or talk to the agency about failed guide dogs available for the public to adopt, but she wasn’t having it. She insisted that Nala was the only thing that had brought my niece out of her shell and that she didn’t think another dog would help.
In any case, whether you can forgive her—and whether she can forgive you for the transgression she imagines you have committed—or not, this is between the two of you. Do not punish your niece for it. Instead, encourage her to play with and come to loveoverall. Talk to her about all the dogs in shelters who need love, and homes, too. Perhaps eventually she will ask her mother about adopting a rescue.
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