'I felt so distant from my husband at a time when I thought we should be closer than ever.'
"Out of the blue" my mother-in-law asked me about my birth plan. I immediately sensed a hostile takeover was in motion. My husband had clearly talked to his mom about my desire to have my mom in the room during labor and delivery, and I was about to find out why that wasn't going to happen.
. I won't go into the nitty gritty details, but basically my mother-in-law had convinced my husband that it wasn't appropriate for my mom to be in the room when I delivered our baby. She told me that it was a special moment for a husband and wife, not one to be shared with other people. She said it wasn't fair to my husband to have my mom there if he wasn't comfortable with it. Even my sister-in-law, who I absolutely love and adore, agreed. All of a sudden, my husband was fully against the original idea. I couldn't believe it. I felt totally betrayed. I was hurt that my husband didn't voice his feelings to me plainly before he confronted me with his mom and sister. I took it personally that he didn't want my mom in the room to share this amazing moment with us. I tried to defend my opinion, and explain that up until this very moment, I had no idea that my husband was so against the idea, but the words kept getting stuck behind the huge lump in my throat. I went upstairs, had a good hysterical cry, and tried to put the uncomfortable situation behind me until we got home.ADVERTISEMENT, but he wouldn't budge. He kept reiterating what his mom told me, and it started to feel like he was putting his foot down just to put his foot down. I couldn't get him to articulate what exactly made him so against having my mom in the labor and delivery room, and every time we tried to discuss it, we ended up in a huge fight. I would end up begging him through hiccuping tears , and he would end up red-faced and frustrated. We went back and forth for three agonizing months. How was I going to break the news to my mom? I was heartbroken, and I knew she would be too. I couldn't sleep. I felt so distant from my husband at a time when I thought we should be closer than ever. After some time, we came to a"compromise." My mom would be with us for most of my labor, but when it came time to start pushing, she would leave. Honestly, this felt worse to me than not having her there at all, but I was just grateful that I had moved the needle on the issue.
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