Dear Pay Dirt: What is the point if we can’t be generous sometimes?
for help with this question. Many readers had the same conclusion as me—at its heart, this isn’t a gift-giving issue. It’s a symptom of a lack of communication about financial priorities.You mentioned that you handle most of the money, and your husband asks for “permission” from you to make purchases. It sounds like he usually feels capable of handling the holidays by creating his own budget that gives him “permission to spend.
Use one of these meetings to discuss how you think about gift-giving approaches and find common ground. Some questions to think about:Is it distinct from how your family feels about other charitable giving?Are mutual gifts decided together, or does one person take the lead and the other has veto rights?AdvertisementYour husband might value “fun” gifts, while you value generosity and utility. Have a dialogue about these things before deciding on a budget.
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