“I never, ever thought about leaving you for her.'
A few weeks after my husband confessed to having an affair with a much younger woman, we were watching a special on television. I don’t even remember what show it was, but what I do remember was that a therapist was interviewing couples about marriage.
“I can’t watch this,” I said. “I just want to move past this and I can’t even stand the sound of her voice.”. She didn’t sit on his shoulder and whisper in his ear that he needed to fuck the 20-something woman in our family car while I was home with our three kids who were running wild all day. She didn’t convince him to lie to me and tell me he was all of a sudden going out with his friends a few nights a week, and of course, I believed him because I trusted him.
“Is that what it was? Because she made you feel a certain way? A way that I don’t make you feel any more?” He never noticed that though. He never complimented me, my parenting, or any of the other work I put in day after day. He didn’t seeBut I didn’t say a word despite the fact that I wanted to vomit, and tell him he sounded like an immature asshole who didn’t deserve to be married to me. I wanted him to finish since it wasn’t often he opened up. Even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear, I needed to hear what he had to say. I needed to know, so I could decided how we would ever move forward.
We hadn’t had sex for months. He’d wanted to go out on dates to connect, and I was too tired to put the effort in and told him so.excuses for what he did, but I knew I had to take some responsibility for shutting him out in a sense and thinking my needs and desires for relaxing, sleep, and being told I was a good mom were more important.That’s where I was wrong. There was no way our relationship could sustain itself in the place we were in.
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