My Deep Sense of Dread Living as a Palestinian American

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My Deep Sense of Dread Living as a Palestinian American
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Imagine if you can what it means when those around you refuse to see your family members living under constant occupation as real human beings.

“I’d rather be stabbed by daggers than be ruled by a rogue.” This line comes from one of the saddest and most beautiful folk songs released from Palestine. I thought about those words constantly when I was in Palestine this past summer. After four years of estrangement, as a plague swept across the planet, I finally returned to Palestine. I got to see my family again and I lived with them for less than a month while also traveling to every corner that I could.

As my mom asked about whether our new visa would work, someone we asked replied that our visa was even better than theirs! I could not help feeling somewhat guilty and I could not stand the idea that I need to be “allowed” into a place Israel is illegally occupying. I wanted to see Haifa. I used to have a family there. My mom wanted to go with a tour bus group because she was afraid to travel alone.

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