Dear Care and Feeding: What can I say to my daughter to help her turn her life around?
My almost 4-year-old is very concerned about death. This isn’t out of nowhere. In the last 18 months, our dog died, our foster puppies died , and her great-aunt died. While she wasn’t very close to her great-aunt, she is close to her aunt, and at the funeral , it upset her to see how sad her aunt was. My husband and I are very open; we answer all her questions as directly as possible and try to follow all the tips . We aren’t religious, so we don’t talk about the afterlife .
Even without the experience of the deaths of pets or relatives, all children eventually make the connection between the deaths in stories and the deaths of their parents, and it frightens them. The deaths of parents in fairy tales—and Disney cartoons—can help them explore and work out their feelings, but reassuring conversations with their parents are also crucial. One thing you might want to think about is whether your own unsettled feelings came through in last night’s conversation with her.
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