Dear How to Do It: My cheating co-worker keeps taking “long lunches,” despite an HIV scare. I’m friends with her husband too.
I have heavily invested in my identity as a butch lesbian and have been out for longer than I haven’t. I’m also nonbinary and I’ve started taking a low dose of testosterone. I’m very tall, and literally every woman I have ever slept with has interpreted this as me being more dominant, which I go along with because hey, it’s what they want! Meaning I am used to topping a cascade of pillow princesses who don’t reciprocate very well, if at all.
I am fully aware that I’m having my early 20s now, in my late 20s. My friends are aware of this, too, and I feel like a lot of them are being pretty damn dismissive about how genuinely earth-shattering this is because they know I’m going through “a weird period.” This is me, a Very Proud Butch Dyke, fully aware that I was taking substances to enhance sex with a guy I’d met an hour before.
A caveat: If you are prone to dangerous situations , don’t learn from your mistakes, and your irresponsible behavior effectively forces your friends to pick up the pieces, their guidance is in fact worth considering. They’re probably exhausted. Then again, if you aren’t learning from your mistakes, I’m probably wasting my keystrokes, anyway.
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