'I own my own home, I have had the same job for over 20 years, I have a 401(k) and IRA accounts, and I also have several accounts that I put money into.'
I met my boyfriend in 2016. One year later, he happened upon some hard times after helping his son with financial issues. This caused him to move out of his apartment and move in with his elderly parents.
He wanted to improve his credit, so I told him that I could help him do that because my credit score is over 800. I thought that if we are going to be together, his credit needs to be as good as mine. He started out with all three scores in the low 500s, and now his highest score is 795. He does not have a retirement plan or a savings account, but he wants us to buy a house with no deposit because he can do so with the VA loan. This is crazy, to buy a house with no money in the bank.
I make more money than he does and I am OK with that, but I need us to be on the same page with finances. He wants to start a marriage with no thought of our financial security at all.Dear Miss Struggling, If you are not sure about buying a home with him, don’t do it. It also seems clear that you don’t want to take this step with your boyfriend — and if he needs you to buy one with him, it would be a good idea to save money. He needs to stand on his own two feet, if he is going to do things his way. It may be the right choice for him, but it does not seem like the right one for you.
There’s one word that did not appear in your letter, but it permeates it nevertheless: trust. It does not appear that you trust him to make sound financial decisions and, given what you have said, he is not willing to learn from the mistakes of the past. You say he helped his son, but he — and he alone — is responsible for allowing his credit score to slip to the low 500s.
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