One reader writes in to SELF’s Asking for a Friend because their friend disappears when she’s in a relationship. Therapist Miriam Kirmayer shares her advice.
Welcome to Asking for a Friend, an advice column that helps you make sense of your messiest, most complicated friendship moments. Each month, clinical psychologist Miriam Kirmayer, PhD, will answer readers’ burning—and anonymous—questions. Got one of your own? Ask Dr. Miriam here. Always the Afterthought, It’s disappointing, hurtful, and downright aggravating to find ourselves in a friendship dynamic that’s rooted in convenience over consistency.
Our friendship is important to me and I really want to make sure that we find ways to prioritize each other and the things we love to do together. I know it can be tough to balance all the different people in your life. I’m wondering if we can have a conversation about how we can work to stay close and prioritize each other in a way that feels doable for both of us.” Here’s why this works so well: It’s honest but not accusatory. You’re being true to your feelings and with your friend.
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