HolaPapi: 'I just can’t shake the notion that I will wake up one day and be 80 years old and feel like I’ve wasted my life.' jpbrammer responds
Things are really good for me right now. I recently moved into a wonderful little house and have a decent job as a copywriter, a partner whom I love, and two happy, healthy dogs. After work, I play soccer, I paint or crochet, walk the dogs, water the plants, and read. On the weekends, I have fun: see friends and family, drink, travel.
Every week I feel like I’m waiting for the weekend, and every weekend I’m anxious about the monotony of the upcoming week. It feels like an unbearably average life. I’m doing what I want to be doing, but everything is so leveled out that sometimes I want to scream. I crave stories and adventure. Do I buy a van and travel the country? Should I move to Argentina? Shave my head? Break my own arm? I’m so happy, but I have a constant urge to wreck my life.
As you’ve noticed, there are times when our regular state of affairs starts to feel smothering, when we dream up all the possible realities we could be inhabiting and think, Did I choose wrong? This is bound to happen no matter which path we travel down. I’m writing to you now, for example, from an apartment I’ve been away from for over a month due to a book tour, work obligations, and an unexpected romance.
So what I want you to do is get a notebook or sheet of printing paper and write some things down. Ask yourself, What are some things, within reason, I’d be excited to do? What are some things I’m afraid to do? What is a place I’d regret never seeing? What is a skill I’ve always wanted to learn?
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