'At first, my affair made me feel like an equal'
On a hot evening last June, I found myself feeling like an awkward intruder at yet another party I didn’t really want to attend. A colleague had managed to convince me it would be a good opportunity to network with other people in the theatre industry, so I swallowed my inferiority complex, put on deodorant and trekked to an apartment nestled in the North Vancouver mountains, only to find myself alone in the kitchen.
We both went back to the main room and other conversations, but I could feel where Michael was at all times in my spine. When he walked past me to have a cigarette alone on the balcony, I followed him. Over half a pack of Players we talked about our industry, the aspects of it we were and weren’t jaded about. We knew the same music, had the same politics, cared about the same activism.
When I told my friends, their reactions were not what I expected A week into living together, Michael warned me we were falling in love with each other. Everything felt so natural, so easy, even strangely familiar. I started wanting it to be real. So I gathered my courage and started telling my friends about it.
As our relationship progressed, Michael and I started going out in public together in Vancouver. We didn’t hold hands, or kiss in front of people, but we weren’t exactly discreet about our bond, always finding excuses to be near each other or touch each other. I was surprized that none of our colleagues interrogated us—in fact, I was more rattled that they weren’t noticing the affair. Eventually, I started telling them, too.
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