FEATURE: My abusive white partner used my race against me – a survivor’s story After experiencing domestic abuse, Penelope tells how race impacts survivors by LeahMahon_ DomesticAbuse DomesticViolence DV15
AS A survivor of domestic abuse, Penelope* wants to ensure that how the intersection of race and gender impacts Black women is never lost in the fight to end violence against women and girls.
“I feel he sought me out because he thought he’d be able to control me, that somehow because I’m a Black woman I might have had low self-esteem. “It was moving away from all the love bombing. Things that he would do were have crazy outbursts of rage, breaking your stuff, he smashed my wardrobe with his mobile phone,” she says.
She became trapped when she realised that DIY work that he had started on her house involved him taking it apart and never putting it back together. “There is this masculinisation of Black women. It’s not just the physical things, you might not notice that my skin’s bruised, you might have a stereotype or prejudice that Black women are always angry or agitated,” she explains.
Before she went to court, Penelope admits that she found the police involvement at first “reasonably helpful,” but things took a turn for the worse when her ex-partner chose to use their daughter as a “pawn in his own game” after she raised concerns about her welfare while in his care.“He actively went to the police and told them that I was harassing him because I sent him a series of emails concerned with his neglect of the child we share.
She says: “When we broke up, he [her ex-partner] used my race against me at every single opportunity… everything was about race, [during the court process] without actually bringing up my race.”According to Victim Support, around 48 per cent of Black and ethnic minority victims who reported domestic abuse to the police felt they were treated differently compared to other victims because of their ethnicity.that police forces charged alleged perpetrators in 6.
“As much as we work with Black women, Black women are just people, so if you are a domestic violence charity, you should be able to do your due diligence with a client who is a Black woman who may need specific care,” explains Fuller. “We can say, there needs to be training, there needs to be anti-bias training. But if the white person who’s delivering this anti-bias training is worried about whether their children are going to have a job, they’re not going to promote it.”
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